Shattered Dreams

God is always working to make His children aware of a dream that remains alive beneath the rubble of every shattered dream, a new dream that when we realized will release a new song sung with tears til God wipes them away and we sing with nothing but joy in our hearts~~Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb

In my mailbox was a package from my friend, Martha Hadley.  She mailed me a copy of a book she thought would minister to me when I was ready.  The book is Shattered Dreams, God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy.  I have been reading one chapter every morning, but it is so good that I can hardly stop after one chapter.  But, I need to soak in the words and the truth about shattered dreams. I could relate to the title immediately as I have experienced shattered dreams.  "Shattered dreams are the truest blessings; they help us discover our true hope. But it can take a long, dark time to discover it.  We must identify a hope that has the power to do something truly wonderful when the dark night descends and we see nothing but pain and disappointment in this life, a hope that does exactly the same thing when the sky is sunny."

Joy amidst the pain is such a true gift.  Through my suffering I have known such joy.  The very first time I ever recognized it was in 2008 when Pat was lying in the hospital just days after a major surgery.  They had removed two inches of his stomach and three to four inches of his esophagus in order to remove the stage one cancer. The ten day stay at Harris Hospital was a long one and a very painful one.  But I remember sitting in his room while he was sleeping and I felt this indescribable joy.  I remember whispering to God, "so this is what joy feels like amidst the pain". Pat had physical pain as well as emotional not knowing what was ahead of him in the days to come. 

Through my pain I have the strongest desire to know God more deeply by soaking up His word and His presence.  I have never known truer worship than I have experienced these past days..He is all I have.