Sunday, July 31, 2011

Love You Uncle Mark

My heart is so sad as with the rest of my family as Uncle Mark is in Jesus' presence as of a few minutes ago.  His condition worsened over the night and surgery was not an option, so they removed the ventilator.  I would describe him as a Christ follower, a family man with a beautiful wife, three children and oodles of grandkids.  He stood for what he believed and sometimes he could be a little stubborn.  I saw him on Saturday the day before Father's Day at my dad's and we were able to laugh and tell stories.  I will miss him greatly, but I am so thankful he is not in pain anymore.  Judy, Jennifer, Chris, Jessica, Bill, Michael, Melinda and all those kiddos, I observe what a close family you are, and I know your heart is breaking.  May God surround you with His love and hold you with His strong hands in the days to come.

Pat's days have been better and he has really worked nonstop around here this weekend.  He finds that the busier he is, the better he feels.  Thank you for your love and concern in the past week. 

As I have said and I will repeat often, life is precious.  I always took good health for granted, but now I see what a gift it is. 

In His Grip,
xoxo Photobucket

Thursday, July 28, 2011

He Feels So Much Better

He feels so much better today!  Mid morning Pat texted me that he felt great!  Oh what a feeling of relief. Late evenings he is usually very fatigued.  Just a short hello tonight. 

There is not much change in my Uncle Mark tonight...please keep him and his family in his prayers.

Have a great Friday!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

ER Visit

Goodness and bless his heart and I am talking about Pat.  We had an ER visit this morning, but actually packed a bag last night as we were heading out the door about 10 PM, but his pain subsided so we stayed home and he slept through the night just fine.  He had severe stomach pain and my prayer was that it was not related to the cancer.  After blood tests and CT they said he was having some intestinal issues and doesn't appear to be related to the cancer or chemo.  He is still not feeling very well, but hopefully tomorrow will be a brand new, pain free day.

My family has another prayer request.  My dad's brother Mark (some call him James) fell off of a horse and broke his foot, six plus ribs and now has a collapsed lung and pneumonia. He is in critical condition in Tyler.  He is daddy's little brother who has been battling Parkinson for several years. As you know Uncle Mark, we McNatts are tight and we are pulling for you. I know that you are in good hands and have some great nurses around you.  I too know that you love the Lord and He is hearing every prayer and plea for your healing.  Aunt Judy, Jennifer, Jessica, Michael and the gang, please know that we are praying and I would love to be able to come and give you a big hug.  Friends and family, I asked that you  join us in praying for his completely healing.

Garrett is home from camp!  Yay!  I haven't seen my big little one since Sunday, July 17th.  I think he grew while he was gone and I know that he has more facial hair than I remember! 

Oh, have to tell you how awesome my God is.  Everyday I read from my 365 Bible and this is what I read in the old testament. After we got up this morning we were waiting around to see how Pat was feeling, so I was able to sit in my chair, open my Bible and read this:

1 Chronicles 20  vs 15 "Do not be afraid!  Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's...vs 17 But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions then stand still and watch the Lord's victory. Do not be afraid or discouraged.  Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you. vs 20 Believe in the Lord your God and you will be able to stand firm.  vs 21 Give thanks to the Lord, his faithful love endures forever."

What other word could He have possibly given me?  It was His promise to me as He new what this day would hold and He was going before us.  By the time this morning came around and watching Pat in such pain, I had no idea what we were facing and we were both confused as to what to do next. I could do was just wait on the Lord to show us.  I had to grin that he used Chronicles to speak to me as my A.D.D. takes over when reading the Old Testament at times! 

As I close, Pat's stomach issues are not resolved, so I ask that you pray with me. 

Thank you for loving on us!

Monday, July 25, 2011

So Thankful For Friends

You should feel fortunate if you have DSL as I am sick and tired of this country living internet service.  Thank goodness I have tethering on my phone.  My kids are frustrated and I was too when there were 11 callers in front of me.

Pat's day was not much better.  I sure wish I could trade places with him, but he wouldn't let me though.  He made himself  go to work for a few hours and I do not know how he was able to do that.  He has been such a trooper.

I was reading in Bill Hybel's book last week and he mentioned Isaiah 43:2. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. This morning while praying, God brought this verse to mind.  We have certainly been in the waters and doing our share of floating, but sometimes it does feel like fire.  One thing I am sure of is that we will not be ablaze as He has been so faithful. 

Saturday morning when Pat and I were ready to pack up and head home, I realized I had such a peace.  I immediately said to myself that someone must be praying for me right now.  An hour later I opened my email and read this:  "Hello my friend, I now you are having a tough time right now.. I can feel it... guess that is just God's way of telling me it is time to pray a little harder for you and, Pat and your family. Love you!"  Sure enough, the message was sent at the time I knew someone was praying.   It was from my friend, Jennifer in Fort Smith.  She and I were roommates college and cheerleaders for the Southeastern Savages!  Thank you, Jennifer and all of you who send your timely messages. Many times they reach us just when we need them. 

The other day I was thanking a friend of mine, Carla, who is walking this same road with her husband, Rick, and I told her I was thankful we could do it together. I said that this journey can get weary for our friends who carry us.  She said that she tells her friends that "Friendship with me is expensive"....and priceless. 

Loco needs my attention!  Can you believe that Matt had the nerve to tell me that I am Loco's grandma? Geez, that will get him a slug in the arm.



Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sad He Is Sick

I hope you have had a good Sunday.  Unfortunately, Pat has not as he has been so sick today with aching, pain and fever.  It is truly one of the hardest days that he has been through in months.  I am praying it passes soon and not a side effect from the chemo, but perhaps just the combination of the two shots.  Our window company, America's Best Choice, conveniently moved offices while we were on vacation, so he has his office to set up and major things lined up for the week.  ABC's offices are now located in the Riverbend Business Park, which was Newell & Newell for many years off Trinity and 820 just outside the HEB area.  Our suite number is 2628 in building 7.  We have now have more office space, warehouse and now a dock to help unload windows.  Since our business is in Dallas now, this office will be more centrally located.  I want to say a big thank you to Pat's cousin, Scott Easterling, for putting up our new lettering on the front door.  I have attached a picture.

Garrett has been at church camp in Oklahoma at Camp Wow since Friday, so he is being missed around here, but he tells me he is having a blast. 

Today has been a work day for me cleaning the RV and doing laundry, so I am going to hit the sack earlier than usual.  I bet my desk at work as a pile on it, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone.  Since I have to go back to work tomorrow, I am glad I love my job. 

Have a great week.  Remember, life is precious!



We made it home this afternoon about 4:00 PM. Pat and I stayed in Hochatown last night.  I know weird name, but pretty place.  It is a few miles outside Broken Bow, Oklahoma near Beaver Bend.  We decided to come home a different way and take advantage of one more night in our RV, our 16th night!

Pat is having a terrible day.  His new chemo treatment, Neulasta shot and Zometa shot (helps with calcium in the bones) has really done him in.  It is so hard to see him sick and weak and all I can do is make sure that he is comfortable.  Please pray that these symptoms will pass soon.

I want to share with you something I read from Streams in the Desert on July 19th which has me praying and thinking.

There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience.  The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion.  Like Gideon, we feel the fleece and are willing to trust God if it is wet.  (I have been there.)  This may be genuine faith but it is imperfect.  It is continually looking to feelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God.  (Yep.)  We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings.  It is more of a blessing when we believe without experiencing any emotion.   While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent.  And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people, and human reason all seem to urge something to the contrary.  Paul exercised this level of faith when he said, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved" (Acts 27:20), then nevertheless went on to say, "Keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me". (Acts 27:25). 

I can relate to all of the levels of faith above.  For such a long time I kept asking for fleece, but God wants my faith to be stronger than that.  With this emotional roller coaster that we are riding, too many times I try to base my faith and trust in my feelings and my circumstances.  I can't do that anymore.  The ride is to scary and there is no way I can possibly know what is next as each day is different and it can change in a moment.  I experienced God and His promise while on vacation.  The minute that Pat told me that the guy in the 18 wheeler just showed him his "God Is Big Enough" bracelet that the matches the ones He and I wear, I knew that God was telling me, "Paige, I got this."  I home now and I can tell you, He did. ("Keep up your courage, Paige, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me". (Acts 27:25).  Each day while we were gone, I was making an effort to trust God through every single day and event and some were certainly more challenging than others and I kept repeating to myself "He's Got This".  Now, I am saying it tonight because Pat's tumor markers are up, his new chemo treatment has changed which will cause new side effects and he is feeling so sick.  I am trusting you, Lord, for Pat's healing although the signs seem to be pointing the other way. 

Pat and I received two God hugs while we were in Tulsa and their names are Carolyn and Tom from Pagosis Springs, Colorado.  My sweet friend, Jacqueline who works at the Center, wanted to introduce us as she felt we would become fast friends, and she was right.  Thank you, JQ! Carolyn and Tom were visiting CTCA to get a second opinion as Tom has stage 4 melanoma and was diagnosed in October also.  Carolyn and Tom are our age and their two children are about the same ages as Elizabeth and Matt. I am thinking we made a good impression upon them when we told them that we just returned from their beautiful city and state!  They have decided in the last day or so that they will stay in Tulsa and start treatment Monday.  Please keep Tom and Carolyn in  your prayers.

This girl is pooped and ready to go to bed.  I have not been consistent in writing here on CB, but I have not had decent internet while I was gone and the kids informed me today that our internet here at the house is not working properly.  I must admit that I enjoyed not having my phone and internet readily available while in the mountains as I was able to do a lot of reading as well as finish two good fiction books.  The Hunger Games (a trilogy) was excellent...a tip for you readers.

Tomorrow is Sunday, my favorite day!  Hope you enjoy each minute!


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Hi from Tulsa

Hello from Tulsa.  As I sit here chatting with you Pat is getting chemo.  I want to update you.

This morning I was praying and asking for change today when we meet with the oncologist.  I have been praying this these past weeks and for the doctors to change their mind.  Why?  I have been lead to.  I want them to think extra hard outside the box in regard to Pat's treatment.  My question was "Why do we have to stay on this strenuous treatment with one spot left?"  The side effects of the oral chemo are worse now.

When we arrived for Pat's appointment they weighed him and he has lost more weight which really is upsetting as we both try really hard to keep him eating healthy with lots of protein.  Marie, the Nurse Practitioner, came in and said that his tumor markers have gone up to 332 and we have some decisions to make.  She said that Dr. Shrestha was planning on changing his treatment to FU5 which is a combination of three drugs which have to be infused over a 48 hour period.  I told her that we were not crazy about that idea.  She said that she would go and talk to Dr. Shrestha and discuss. Boy, was I praying then. They both returned to the examining room and Dr. Shrestha said she understood that we wanted to think about other options.  She said that she had another idea and that is to continue the Gemzar and add Abraxane every three weeks.  Abraxane is a new drug that has recently been approved for pancreatic cancer.  This excited me!  We prayed for change and we got it.  We also get to extend the treatment to every three weeks instead of two.

This has been an emotionally hard day for the both of us due to being back to reality for one thing and now change of treatment, new side effects to worry about and higher tumor markers. As much as I love this place it is sometimes so hard to see cancer everywhere.  It is really heartbreaking.   When you have this type of day you just have to lean into God and ask for His peace and comfort..still praying that now.

Thank you prayer warriors!  It is so comforting to read your messages as it continues to give us hope and most of all make us feel so loved.

Pat and I plan to make another stop tomorrow on the way home in Broken Bow, Oklahoma and continue our vacation for one more night...just not ready to end it yet.

Our our love,
Paige & Pat

Monday, July 18, 2011

Colorado At It's Best

I am sad as this is our last day in Colorado as Pat, Matt and I head toward Oklahoma tomorrow morning.  What an amazing place and I can't thank God enough for His amazing gift of allowing us to come and have the best time ever.  I am also thankful that I have a job and a boss that will allow me to spend this precious extended time with my family.  I am particularly thankful for no injuries or accidents and I will tell you that there could have been.  Thankful that the Stowes, Wendy, Dennis, Grayham and Grayham's friend, Morgan, were able to joins us for four days. The list goes on!

Pat and Matt left really early this morning to go fly fishing, so I have been leisurely enjoying this morning and mountain air.  I sure miss Garrett and Elizabeth.

I would love to find the words to describe some of our experiences.  We had a few challenges in our rides on the four wheelers.  We were able to go on four of them.  Thursday afternoon Pat, Elizabeth, Garrett and I decided to take what we thought was a short ride on Wager Gulch which was really close to our campsite.  We were having problems with one of the four-wheelers, so we wanted to test it before we went on another long ride.  It was a beautiful ride that took us to a ghost town called Carson.  We kept riding and we realized there was a trail that would take us to the top of the mountain.  It seemed steep but doable.  So we took off to the top.  What a view!  Now it was time to come down and Pat said I don't think we can go down without sliding.  So, we made a plan.  We were going to zig zag down the mountain via the willows.  Willows are like really thick bushes.  I will post a picture so that you can see.  We started down by "walking" each jeep.  At one time it was on two wheels and Garrett and Pat were literally trying to use their body weight to maneuver it.  Elizabeth and I just watched, but I did decide to video tape it.  At least if the four-wheeler decided to roll down the mountain, I would have it on video.  My imagination was running...."okay, we might be in trouble as it is about 5:00 and if we have to walk and we won't get down the mountain before dark and we do not have any food and just a couple of bottles of water.  No one knows that we took a ride and Matt will be either furious or worried because we don't show up.  What if Pat can't make the walk.....crazy uh!  Well, I have to share with you where I got my peace.  As soon as Garrett and Pat started working their way down the mountain I was praying and I asked God to show me a purple flower. As I turned I only saw yellow and then there was one single purple flower in the midst of the yellow. (Got a picture of that too!)  I was then reminded that "God has this".  He did!  After it was over I asked Pat how scared he was between 1 and 10, 10 being the worst of fear.  He chose 7.  We made it home just in time for dinner!  Garrett said he wasn't scared either until he saw that his Dad was struggling too breath in the high elevation.   I was so thankful for Garrett's strong muscles!

The reason I asked for a purple flower is because most of all of the wild flowers here in the mountains were different shades of purple  You know what purple means to me these days and I just looked upon them as a God Hug!

Hope you have a great Monday.  I am trying to pack up some cool air for you so that I can bring it home!


Monday, July 11, 2011

Hello God's Country!

Hello!  I am came to sit awhile up here at the lodge to say hello!  Yesterday was a great day!  Matt surprised Garrett with an early birthday present...a new fly rod. Pat decided he wanted one, so all three are fishing constantly.  The lakes are just yards away from the campsite.  I have attached a photo of our view. 

Cash is liking it here, but he get frustrated because he has to stay on a leash.  He likes to bark at everyone who walks in front of the site or bark back at the neighbor's dog. 

Matt rode his four-wheeler down to RedCloud this morning and visited with friends.  I think the four of us might adventure out on the four-wheelers today. 

I mentioned that there is no cell service and there is also not any satellite, so we have been watching movies every night.  Last night we cooked some steaks and as we sat down to eat them Pat plugged in Red Skelton.  The boys asked who that was and Pat explained that his shows was one of his favorites  as a kid.  A few minutes into the show Garrett looked at me and said, "Is he supposed to be funny."  They didn't get Red.  The cool thing is that Red loved the Lord.

Matt just drove by the lodge, so he is back from Red Cloud.  I am going to go see what is on the agenda for the day.  It may be nothing, but that is okay too!

Wish you were all here enjoying this weather! 

Hurry up Elizabeth!



Sunday, July 10, 2011

Photos from Colorado

Our view from our camping site!

Pat getting ready for fishing.

I believe this is instruction from Dad!

Loving This Colorado Weather

Good afternoon! It is a sweat shirt and shorts kinda morning!  I have to walk up to the lodge to get wi-fi and didn't want to last night because it was too cold!  I know, really! 

We are having a good time.  This place that we are staying, Castle Lakes, is just beautiful.  It has two beautiful lakes on the grounds.  One is for fly-fishing and the other is for rod and reels.  We hung close to the campsite (will post pics soon) yesterday so that we could get acclimated to the elevation.  Pat had a very rough night last night, but feels a lot better this morning.  Adjusting to the elevation has always been a problem for him anytime we come to Colorado, so not being healthy probably is causing him to adjust slower.  Please pray specifically that the rest of his days are good.

Matt and Garrett did a lot of fishing yesterday and caught four trout I believe.  Can't wait to eat them.  Matt just went into Lake City to meet up with friends that he met at RedCloud two summers ago. 

I have bought a ton of books to read while here and currently reading four.  One of the books I am reading, Good and Beautiful God, touched on something,  "I want to love the God that Jesus knows."  When I read that it maybe think just how much I have to learn about God and how far off my thinking is so many times.  I remember years ago praying to God that I want to love Him more than anything else, which includes my family.  I do love Him that much now and it has taken a lot of praying and seeking to get to that place...years actually.  I have to love Him more in order to love them better.  Loving them means surrendering them and you know I have mentioned my struggle in that area.  Now, I want to love the God that Jesus knows and that is my new search.  It may take arriving at my heavenly home to find that answer.

I had to pause just a moment to take off my sweat shirt.  Oh, the sun feels so good.  I have to give you all the details!

We are anxiously waiting on Elizabeth to get here, and it is really tough as there is no cell service here to stay connected.  We have to drive into the edge of Lake City to call which is about 10 or 15 minutes.  If you have ever been to Engineer pass, that is the road we take to Castle Lakes. 

Darn, I wanted to upload some pictures here and on Facebook, but forgot to download from my camera, so I will trek back up here and load later today.  I am sure that I will have album overload!

Thank you for walking with us on this journey!  We covet your prayers and know that they are being heard.  God is good!

Hugs from Colorado! 

Friday, July 8, 2011

We Made it!

We made it!  Safe and sound too!  It has been somewhat adventurous, but not too bad.  We left Fort Worth at 7:45 Thursday morning.  Pat started out driving with Matt following in the truck pulling the four-wheelers. I started driving about 45 minutes later and drove the rest of the way.  Didn't quite trust Garrett enough to pull a trailer.  He didn't care because he just lounged in the back watching movies and playing video games and napping whenever he pleased!  We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Elizabeth Tuesday morning and then the vacation will really begin!

I have to share with you the coolest story!  We were on 35 headed toward downtown Fort Worth Thursday and this 18-wheeler was trying to get our attention.  I saw the guy, but ignored him.  Pat looked over and the guy was pointing at his bracelet "God Is Big Enough" because he saw that Pat had his on too!  Isn't that crazy!  I took that has a huge God hug that said "I got this go and have a great time"!  Well, He did as we had a couple of close mishaps.  We witnessed a 18-wheeler almost side-wiping a car and if he did, it would have caused us some damage.  Also while driving up in the mountains I was following the motor home and I saw the green liquid pouring out, but fortunately the radiator cap just blew off.  So, you see He was watching over us. 

Pat feels much better today than yesterday and did most of the driving from Ratone to Lake City.  We are just so thankful and excited to be here!

Lake City is where Matt was a camp counselor at RedCloud two summers ago, so he will be able to meet up with some buddies.  Garrett also attended that camp while Matt was here too with his buddy Grayham. 

There are two lakes here at Castle Lakes where we are staying.  One pound is just for fly fishing.  I know that fishing will be the boys' past  time and they are planning on doing that first thing in the morning. As soon as Elizabeth gets here we will check out some jeep trails. 

We do not have any cell service here, but as you can see we have Wi-Fi and I am out on the porch at their lodge and getting pretty chilly!  (I am so sorry to say that.)  So, email or Facebook us if you need us.  We can use our phones in town.

Thank you for your prayers that you have lifted up for us.  This trip has been planned for such a long time and I am absolutely thankful we are here and look forward to hanging with the family!  Miss you Elizabeth..can't wait to see you!  Missy, take care of Loco!

God is Big Enough!


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Delayed Blessing Office

Two days until Colorado and we can hardly wait!  I can't wait for the smell, the beauty and the weather.  More of my favorites to come when we get there! If only the packing was done!  I have been stock piling on books to read while I am gone and since internet and cell phone use will be limited, I will have more time to read. 

I just finished the first book of three in a series called the Hunger Games.  I read it in two days and had to find the second and third book quickly.   Since I didn't have time to shop for the books, I made a shout out on Facebook and my friend, Becky Stricklin, came through for me and let me borrow the second and third book!  Thanks, Becky!

God is still talking to me about waiting lately.  "The revelation awaits an appointed time...though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. (Habakkuk 2:3).  In Streams in the Desert the author talks about the Lord's "Delayed Blessing Office", where God stores the answers to certain prayers until it is wise to send them.  When we pray expecting an answer it takes a long time to learn that delays of answers are not denials.  He says that in the "Delayed Blessing Office" there are deep secrets of love and wisdom that we have never imagined!  We tend to want to pick our blessings from the tree while they are still green, yet God wants us to wait until they are fully ripe.

When I read this I am reminded of a prayer request that Pat and I have been praying for and I am not talking about healing on this one.  It is a request that we have petitioned for quite some time now and we have surrendered.  We are seeking His will for us and the solution seems easy and sometimes so close, but we wait.  Perhaps we are trying to pick the blessing that isn't ripe is not time.  "Do not grieve Him by doubting His love. Instead, lift up your eyes and begin praising Him right now for the deliverance that is on its way to you.  Then you will be abundantly rewarded for the delay that has tried your faith."

My prayer today is "Lord, I hear you and I understand.  I just want to get it right.  I want my faith to please you, but some days are harder than others."

In His Grip,

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Lake Fun!

Happy 4th!  It is still the 3rd, but only a few minutes from now!

Our family really had a great time yesterday at the Stowes at their lake house in Granbury.  The kids did the boat stuff and adults hung out by the pool and laughed a lot.  The kids stayed overnight, but Pat and I drove to Hico and spent the night there.  Thanks Dennis and Wendy for a fabulous time! 

Pat has had a lot of bone pain due to the Neulasta shot, but he is pushing through it.  Hopefully, he will feel much better tomorrow.

We are counting down the days until vacation....5 days!!! Woohoo

Be Safe!