Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick or Treat!

Did you see one of my trick or treaters that was at our door tonight?  Matt surprised us by ringing the doorbell and Missy and Loco were with him.  I love surprises!  I wasn't expecting him home tonight.

Today we met with the oncologist first thing this morning.  Pat had a rash show up on his stomach on Saturday and the doctor said it is shingles.  We caught it early and started medication right away.  He also said that he didn't hear much liquid on his lung, so they will check it again on Wednesday as well as get an x-ray of his chest.  Pat is frustrated and disappointed because his chemo treatment will be delayed. 

What I have prayed for the most these past days is peace and joy.  I have been given the gift of peace because of God's love and all of the prayers that have been lifted on our behalf.   I was reading about joy in my book, "Don't Waste The Pain."

What does it mean to "consider it all joy" (James 1:2) I'm sure it's not pretending there is no agony or weariness.  I'm sure it's not putting on a smiley face. It seems to be thoughtfully, by faith, entering into the way God see things--the way they really are--rather than limiting ourselves to what we can see. It seems to be found in deliberately allowing God to wean me away from letting my feelings be controlled by circumstances. It seems to be found i consciously embracing the mysterious joy in God's heart (the joy of the Holy Spirit) even when I don't understand. Joy can peek through the curtain of sorrow".

I experience this joy and usually in the smallest of things.  While I am filled with this peace and joy, I feel God is asking me to wait, trust and be still each day.  My mind is a whirlwind of emotions and many days are so surreal. I now have to take each day one at a time. 

Your prayers are felt and we ask you to not stop.  We have to remind ourselves that God Is Big Enough! 

Tomorrow, November 1st, is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month! Wear your purple!  Donate now to TEAM STP so that we can raise money for research.                                                                                                               

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bring It Home Rangers!

Watching those Rangers again and this is it guys!  Bring home the Championship!

I am excited as my sister, Kelly and my niece, Brianna, are on their way here and we get to hang out this weekend.  Since Pat and I have not been taking the train to Oklahoma City lately, I have not seen her as much.  There is nothing like sister time!

Pat went to work for just an hour or so this morning and had to come home as he was just not feeling good.  I am afraid that the fluid is building again in his lung.  We will address this Monday morning with the oncologist.

Basketball season started Wednesday for Garrett and after school practices have begun.  He has his first scrimmage Nov. 5th and the first game on Nov. 15th.  I am ready!  There will be some travel this year as the district 3A will include Mineral Wells, Decatur, Lake Worth, Bridgeport, and Castleberry. 

Hope you have a great night. Pat, Elizabeth and I enjoyed some Fuzzy Taco enchiladas tonight and were quite tasty.  The boys are with friends watching the game. So, come on Rangers!


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Are We Going To Win Rangers?

Here we sit again watching the Rangers again and hoping they win this thing.  Have you heard of Pinterest?  It is great fun while watching baseball. Pinterest is like opening a new magazine each day. 

I have been very impatient these past two days because of the time I have had to wait to get results and/or phone calls from doctor offices here in Fort Worth.  Pat and I are so spoiled because when you are in Tulsa, all the doctors are under one roof and you get your lab results within two hours.  I have been waiting on the results from Pat's blood work from Tuesday just prior to having the fluid drained from his lung.  Those results came in today and his blood work looked good.  His magnesium was low, so he will add a supplement to increase it.

I also had a nice chat this afternoon on the phone with Dr. Shrestha in Tulsa as she went  over all of Pat's medical records from his stay in the hospital. It was nice to know that her recommendations are aligned with Dr. Fredric, our oncologist here in Fort Worth.   We will meet with Dr. Fredric Monday morning to discuss the next treatment plan.

There is one thing that I am concerned about and that is the fluid that keeps returning in Pat's lung.  Tonight he is complaining that it feels as if the fluid may be building.  Dr. Shrestha recommended that we discuss with our doctors here in Fort Worth about putting in a drain tube. 

Overall Pat has felt a little better, but at times he can experience pain or extreme fatigue in a moment's notice.  Some days are better than others of course, but his attitude amazes me. He is ready to begin his treatment again and keep up this fight. 

What I do know is that he is everything to me and my love for him continues to grow more and more each day.  He is my hero and after 30 years he still causes those butterflies in my stomach.  Oh, how I pray that my children find their soul mates and know what it is to love and be loved as I have.  I love you, Patrick!

Hoping for a big win tonight, Rangers!


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Face Down

I bet there are a lot of baseball fans about to go in withdrawal after the World Series!   I am not a huge baseball fan, but I enjoy a game if my son is playing, it is at the Ball Park or the World Series.  Pat says I just people watch.   Hoping tomorrow is a victory for our Rangers!

I have major news!  As of tonight, donations for TEAM STP are now $6,710.00.  Our t-shirt sales are over 85 as of tonight.  Thanks so much!

This morning I had Pat at Medical Plaza for a thoracocentesis which is s  procedure that removes fluid or air from the chest through a needle or tube.  Pat said the procedure was painful but the pain at the incision site is really hurting tonight.  This is the second time he has had the fluid drained in a week and the amount of fluid collected is the same (a liter).  We have questions now as to what is next?  What is causing this fluid and will it return?  They also did labs this morning and we will probably get those results tomorrow.  Last week I sent all of the medical records from his stay here in the hospital to Tulsa and I am waiting to hear from Dr. Shresta.  We want her input as we move forward from here. 

What a whirlwind it has been since October 6th.  Pat's health has declined and our emotions have been high as we continue this journey.  It is ironic that exactly one year ago in October this journey began and now it is so unpredictable.

Music just ministers to my heart and Casting Crowns has their new CD out and already one of the songs is soothing my soul.  It is called Face Down.  The lyrics are below:


I try to find a new way to tell You
Some way to show You what You mean to me
There's nothing new
I exhaust myself searching
The world just keeps turning
What else can I do
"Cause I find myself empty and

Face down
Having nothing else to cling to
But need of love that only You can give
Face down
Where I know that I belong
And I pray with grace that this world sees in me
Someone humbled and broken at Your feet

I stand amazed
See the work of Your hands
Still I don't understand why you would rescue me
An empty cross, where You suffered and bled
Overcoming my death, recreating me
With this freedom I will be


So I'm asking for Your help
Just can't do this by myself
After all, this life's for You and not for me
Through Your mercy now I see
Brokenness is what I need
So I'll stay right here at Your feet
Right here at Your feet and


Face down is where I find myself a lot this past year and if not on my face, I am on my knees.  The only source I have is God and each morning I am searching for a word or encouragement from him.  The verse that leaped from the page this morning was Exodus 6:1, "Now you will see what I will do."  I don't know what that means right now, but I will wait and watch with expectation. 

Please continue to pray for Pat's strength, stamina, improved sleep at night, and weight gain.  I ask that you pray for the doctor's wisdom, discernment and guidance in the days to come.  One of my concerns is that the doctors are all in agreement. 

In His Grip,

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Go Rangers!

Now as I type the Ranges are wining 4 to zip at the top of the 9th!  Wow what a game!  The picture you see if of our friends the Thompsons and the Rosses holding up their signs for Stand Up For Cancer which has Pat's name on them.    Shelly Allen sent me a picture of her sign that she is also holding up for Pat.  Pat is so loved.

He has not had a good day.  He has had extreme fatigue, pain in his shoulder, which is new, and he says his whole body hurts.  I just feel so helpless and just want him to feel good.  Please pray for relief from the pain.

The first round of t-shirt orders will be sent in on Wednesday.  If you want a t-shirt, please email Alison at   We are at about $6000.00 for TEAM STP.  Help me reach my goal of $8,000.00 now.  I am really dreaming of $10,000.00!  It doesn't hurt a thing for this girl to dream!

Have a blessed week!  Go Rangers!
xoxo Photobucket

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Hello from home!  We were only home one night in two weeks, so it feels like we have been gone for so long. Pat feels a little better, but he needs to build his strength and stamina.  Right now he is watching the Ranger game and getting frustrated! 

After I finished my jog tonight, I sat outside and listened to this song by Shawn McDonald. 
The lyrics from "Storm".

I feel like I'm caught in the middle of a hurricane
Standing in the eye of the storm
The water's deepening and the waves are crashing in
And I, I'm losing, I'm losing my way home

But I will not fear
When the storms of life appear
Cause You're holding me holding me tight
Your keeping me alive
When the storms of life arise
And You're helping me helping me to fight through the night

When life is not what I thought that it would be
The pain is sometimes more than I can stand
And I have had to learn a lot the hard way
But I'm trusting that my life is in Your hands

But I will not fear
When the storms of life appear
Cause You're holding me holding me tight
Your keeping me alive
When the storms of life arise
And You're helping me helping me to fight through the night

And You're holding me holding me
And You're finding me finding me
And You're guiding me guiding me
Through the night

This journey feels like a storm, but I am so thankful for the peace the Lord has given me.  It is an amazing gift.

Sweet dreams,

Order your t-shirts or donate to TEAM STP!  STP has raised $5700.00!  Woo hoo!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Goodbye Ms. Bear

Order Your Shirt.  See Below for Instructions
We are still at the Plaza!  I think it is time for Pat to go home as he is feeling better and he is restless.  The longer he stays here the more his back hurts from the beds.  We met with the Dr. Keller and he thinks Pat could possibly go home today, but he is concerned with his low potassium.  They are giving him oral potassium, antibiotics and now weaning him of his IV nutrition.  They will test is potassium this afternoon and we well meet with Dr. Frederick, our oncologist, to get his input.  Please pray today is the day.
Yesterday was sad for us as we had to put our aging dog, Bear, to sleep.  Matt noticed that she wasn't doing good, so our good friend, Andy, came to the rescue and took Bear to the vet.  Her health has been declining and I know she missed her companion, Pope, who died last year.  Bear was a sweet dog and was always generated great conversation because of her unique look.  When she was a baby, she was run over by a car and had her mouth wired.  Due to the car accident, one of her ears appeared to be on the top of her head.  Pat always called her Marty Feldman! 
Hopefully I will be able to report from home next time I log on here at CB.  We are all weary and ready for home sweet home.
Order your t-shirts for TEAM STP.  Alison Haralson has set up a paypal for those who are out of town.  We will charge $15 for the t-shirt and $2.50 for shipping.  All of the proceeds will go directly to TEAM STP who is participating in PurpleStride on November 13th.  Alison's email:  We are ordering t-shirts for the kiddos too!


Monday, October 17, 2011

Monday Morning Update

My Hero!

If you could only see the dirt on our faces!

Wishing We Were There Now

Good Morning! 

I wanted to post some pictures from our summer vacation.  Wishing we were there!

I just want to update you this morning.  Pat has what they call an ileus which is a twisted intestine and they removed all food and water last night in order for his system to relax. This morning he will have a series of x-rays to get a good look in that area.  He has the pain under control, but it is very uncomfortable.

We are taking this day by day and the doctors do not want to think about sending us home until we get all things working properly.  We are thankful for our new doctors because they are believers with wisdom, encouragement and compassion.  I can't say enough about the outstanding nurses here at the Plaza and what a comfort they have been.

Please keep us in your prayers as Pat needs continued strength and healing. I also ask you to continue praying for my kids as their normal has been redefined again.  And for me, I ask that you pray that I continue to receive the gift of peace that surpasses all understanding.

I will keep you updated!
Hugs and smiles!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday...My Favorite Day!

Happy Sunday and hello from the Plaza!

Today Pat was able to unhook from all of the IV's and go down in the wheelchair and sit in the sunshine.  Awe, it felt so good!

Pat's night was pretty much the same but he seems to be feeling better today.  Our hope is that he will get to go home very soon. We saw Dr. Keller this morning and he told us if we could get the stomach issues to subside we can start weaning the antibiotics.  Dr. Frederick will have the ultimate say and he has not stopped in today.

Sundays are my favorite day and I sure miss worshiping at FBC this morning! Thankfully, God sat with me at 5 AM this morning as I continue to pray for Pat's healing.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Saturday at the Plaza

Saturday at the Plaza sounds like we are on vacation...we will dream about it!  Just saw one of our doctors and he said that we are just waiting on his body to receive the antibiotics and as we decrease the antibiotics hopefully the stomach issues will get better. 

Our hear the weather is wonderful outside. I was able to enjoy the sunshine yesterday when I went home to do some laundry and run to the bank.  Cash was excited to see me, but after our brief greeting, he was looking for Pat.

If I have any new news to report, I will stop by here on CB!

Have a great day!
xoxo Photobucket

Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Update

Good morning from the Plaza Hospital.  Yes, we are still here and we were told that we will be here through the weekend.  Pat had a rough night with stomach problems and this can be because of the chemo and from the very strong antibiotics.  We did get the good news that his white count is now up to 5 which is normal thanks to an injection they gave him yesterday.  Pat is eating pretty good on his clear liquid diet and he is getting nutrition from his IV.
Thank you for your continued prayers!

The donations are coming in!  Thank you, thank you!

TEAM STP has raised $5215.00

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Still Here

Good Morning! Pat feels a lot better today.  The first thing I saw him do when he woke up was go to the mini-blinds and let the sunshine in! 

Pat's stomach issues are better, but now he is nutrapenic.  He will have to stay here until he gets his white counts back up.  See the definition below:

Definition:  Neutropenia is a condition in which the part of the blood that protects a person from germs (called the immune system) doesn't work properly. Specifically, people who have neutropenia don't have a particular type of white blood cell - called neutrophils (pronounced NEW TROH FILS) - which helps the body to kill germs - especially bacteria. This means that people with neutropenia are more likely to get sick from bacteria than other people (even good bacteria that is normally helpful in digestion, skin care, etc.). People with neutropenia just don't have the same abilities to kill and control bacteria that other people have.

Needless to say he is bummed, frustrated and ready to go home.  Please pray for peace and patience as he waits for his body to heal as well as strength and endurance.

The doctor has put him on clear liquids and he is now having to take nutrition via an IV.  His jello looked really tasty this morning.  I had to hide my biscuit and gravy so he couldn't see it, and by the way, their gravy here is excellent.  I know, I know it is not on my diet, but I am enjoying comfort right now. 

Since I have not been able to run, I guess I am going to have to put my tennis shoes on and go up and down the that is harder than running.

Thank you for all of your messages, encouragement and prayers as we continue on.


Information on Texas Purple Stride:  We have raised $4,485.00!! Wow!  Here is the link to donate: copy and paste:

You can also Google "Dallas Purple Stride".  Right at the moment I am number one in the individual top fund raiser and our team is in fourth.  Let's move it to first!  Thank you to all that has donated. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

New Logo for TEAM STP

Take a look at our new logo for TEAM STP!  Matt created it for the t-shirts and I believe I have a corporate sponsor to purchase them on behalf of TEAM STP!  I am excited!  Everyone running and walking on November 13th will wear a t-shirt, but I think I want to take it further and allow friends and family to purchase a t-shirt so that we can donate more to the Pancreatic Action Network!  I will let you know the price and give you a chance to order one.  November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month and it would warm my heart to see our friends and family wearing the t-shirts and promoting awareness in the month of November.

We are still in the hospital and maybe a day or two longer.  Due to the antibiotics for the pneumonia, he needs to stay in the hospital. Each day he feels a little better, but has relapses of symptoms throughout the day. 

Today we had a consultation with a new oncologist and he has agreed to work alongside CTCA.  He has been in the business for a very long time and he is kind and compassionate. He not only cares for Pat's physical and emotional care, he also cares about me and our kids.  We like the internal medicine doctor here also and may consider using him as one of Pat's doctors.  As you can see, God definitely used this setback for good to introduce us to a new hospital and new doctors.  I am very thankful. 

Woo hoo! What a great win Rangers!
xoxo Photobucket

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Husband Rocks

I am sporting my favorite t-shirt, "MY HUSBAND ROCKS"!
Pat had a rough night last night and was up at 12, 2 & 3 and then slept until about 6.  Mid morning he had the fluid around his lung drained and they drained about a liter.  He started feeling better and that lasted until about 3 this afternoon.  This evening he is still fighting nausea and stomach pain and all of the yucky symptoms that go with that.  We need to get control of this and that is our goal right now.  They did send a sample of the fluids from his lungs to the lab to be tested and that will be a couple of days before we get those results.
He is a sick puppy and we just want him to feel good.  He can't keep his food down, but he is able to drink the Boost protein drink.
Plaza Medical is a wonderful hospital with great nurses and doctors.  It is definitely our hospital of choice.  We are so thankful to Greg Haralson, our friend, who has arranged such wonderful care here at Plaza for Pat.  It is not what you know, but who you know.  We are blessed to have Greg and Alison in our life group and they have walked this journey with us now for four years. 
We are blessed to have so many friends out there loving on us and praying for us.  It sounds cliche and I say it all of the time, but we truly could not walk this without you.
We have had a setback, but I do know that God has gone before us by directing us to this hospital and providing good doctors.  One of our nurses we met, DeDe, lives in Burleson and has walked this journey with her husband, so the Lord put someone in our path who is a believer that can encourage us, take wonderful care of Pat and she lives in our hometown.   
This scripture I read today, "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.  They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

Monday, October 10, 2011

Pat is in the Hospital

I took Pat to the ER at Medical Plaza at 5:30 this morning. He has had a long night with pain, nausea and now 102 fever.  They believe it is pneumonia and will confirm with CT scan results.  Keep us in your prayers.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Sunday Update

We made it home about 10:30 this morning.  It was nice to see the rain. Matt was at the ranch last night and he said that when he went to bed last night many of the ponds were dry and when he woke up this morning they were all full.  You can see a picture of Lake Pat early this morning. The news said just said that area got about 6" of rain.  Thank you, Lord!

Pat has had a very rough day.  He says his body hurts all over and his pain level has been high.  Days like this are hard and you just feel helpless. Please pray that his good days will be here soon.

We also need prayer as I make calls tomorrow to find an oncologist who will worth with our oncologist in Tulsa.

It is great to be home and see our kids.  I think they miss us too!



Friday, October 7, 2011

Hanging in Tulsa

Pat and I are hanging out in the hotel room today.  He has slept most of the day and doing okay.  I just make sure he has something to eat and try to keep his pain level down.  We ordered pizza tonight and he ate good.

I have enjoyed doing nothing all day.  I finished my book, watched TV and redesigned my paige's petals blog.  It isn't something I would want to do every day, but I am taking advantage of it. 

Matt is feeling better today, but Elizabeth called earlier this morning and said Garrett was sick with a stomach virus and she was taking him to the doctor.  My thought was "next"?

Pat will have the chemo removed tomorrow night at 7 and we will travel home early Sunday morning. 

Thank you for all your prayers and support.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Report

We are in our hotel room after a long day that started at 4:45 this morning.  We met with Marie our nurse practitioner and discussed Pat's treatment in Fort Worth.  After much discussion we have decided that it will be best for Pat to come to Tulsa every other treatment for now.  Texas Oncology tells that they will work with our oncologist here, but the doctors warned us here that we really need to meet with a doctor to determine if they will follow CTCA's plan.  If you know of a specific oncologist at Texas Oncology that you think would be a good fit for us, please email me. 

Pat didn't have tumor markers run today so there is not much to report.  We began chemo about 2:00 and left the infusion center about 8:00 so it was faster than the last time.

Right before Pat had his chemo I got a call from Matt and he had a severe migraine and felt numbness and had clouded vision. Thankfully, my friend, Laura Lankford, lives in West and she dropped what she was doing and went to get Matt and take him to the ER.  Matt also works for Laura at Point West Bank.  They gave him some fluids and medications and he was able to go back home this afternoon.  The last time Matt had a severe migraine like this I was in Oklahoma taking care of my dad while he was in the hospital.  I have thanked Laura 14 times today and I am thanking her again! I am also thankful Matt's girlfriend, Missy, drove to Waco to check on him. 

I am getting sleepy! 


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

God Has Amazed Us Again!

God has amazed me again today! Today was an exciting one for our family and I want to share it with you.  Beginning in two weeks, Pat will be able to get his chemo treatment here in Fort Worth. 

A couple of days ago Pat asked me to email our care manager,  Adeline, and ask her if it would be possible if he could get his chemo treatment in  Fort Worth.  I hesitated and said that it probably wouldn't work and gave several reasons why I thought it wouldn't be possible.  With a heavy sigh, he asked me to do it anyway.  So, today I emailed Adeline and within a couple of hours she replied, "Dr. Shrestha does not have any problem letting patients treat at home and the problem is usually finding a local oncologist who does not mind doing it.  If you can visit with a local oncologist and they will work with us, we do not mind?"  I called Pat and relayed the news from Adeline, and I told him I would make some calls and see if we could find an oncologist here in Fort Worth before we leave for Tulsa on Thursday.  He suggested that I call Texas Oncology and they said that they would be happy to work with us and asked me to get all of Pat's medical records so that they can  set up for his next treatment. Well, I am getting excited at this point.  My contact at Texas Oncology suggested that I call my health insurance company and make sure they would cover two oncologists.  This call lasted just a bit longer as I waited while she talked to her supervisor. She put me on hold and within ten minutes, I had a "yes".  When I called Pat, all he heard was me crying.  I was so thankful that God opened this door and stunned by the fact it was approved by the different channels within one hour!  We will return to Tulsa for scans and recommendations, and all of these details will have to be worked out as well his pain management doctor and prescriptions.

This is such an answer to prayer and Pat said that it was one that he has been praying about for some time.  Pat will be able to have the 48 hour infusion at home and we will not be away from our family and friends. We are also thankful for the money we will save by not having to travel to Tulsa every two weeks. When he were told that his new chemo treatment would require us to stay in Tulsa four to five days each time and my heart hurt knowing we would be missing a lot of Garrett's basketball games as well as our Life Group and other weekend activities that are important to us.  I remember asking the Lord if he would possibly change our situation in the future.  It was one of those prayers that was more like a wish than a prayer request. He heard me.

Tonight I am in complete awe of God and what he has done for our family.   The past few weeks I have seen Him at work through answered prayer and His many provisions for us.  God knows our needs intimately and has orchestrated so many events to allow us to see His divine hand.

So, I close tonight with such a thankful and adoring heart.  I am blown away of JUST how faithful God is and I am forever changed.

xoxo Photobucket

Monday, October 3, 2011

A Quick Hello

Just want to say hello and let you know Pat had a really good day and a huge appetite! I like that! I woke up at 4 AM so I am going to bed early. Thank you so much for all your love and support.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

A Celebration

We woke up this morning early because Pat had an appointment, Garrett had an 8 AM basketball game and I worked the basketball tournament, Centennial Shootout.  The Spartans third game had a spectacular ending.  They were in over time and there was one second left on the clock and Garrett made the winning shot.  What is so cool is that my friend, Natalie, happen to be videoing the end of the game on her phone.  If you have FB, I have it posted on my page.  Garrett's face was priceless and I am still smiling.

The Shootout Tournament of 2010 will always be embedded in our memory. One year ago Pat arrived at the tournament to watch Garrett play.  He had been in Wichita Falls on business and was there to catch that afternoon game.  He had been really sick that week, but when he sat down beside me in the bleachers and I looked into his eyes, I knew something was wrong.  I called the doctor and they said rush him to the hospital and our life forever changed. We celebrate today because Pat surpassed the time that doctors gave him to survive his pancreatic cancer diagnosis.  We are thankful and His doctors are amazed at his progress.  The Cancer Center in Tulsa is more than we ever expected and are blessed to have such a wonderful team of doctors who are believers and a facility that is filled with love and hope.

We still have a fight ahead of us and we are so thankful that you are walking alongside us in this journey.  Your prayers and God's grace and faithfulness have carried us this past year.  I wish I could share with you all of the gifts and blessings we have received this past year.

Life is a gift and we are not promised tomorrow.  Tell your family and friends that you love them.

With thankfulness, 

Remember TEAM STP....more research is needed for this deadly disease and our team needs your help to raise money for PurpleStride, November 13th!