Sad He Is Sick

I hope you have had a good Sunday.  Unfortunately, Pat has not as he has been so sick today with aching, pain and fever.  It is truly one of the hardest days that he has been through in months.  I am praying it passes soon and not a side effect from the chemo, but perhaps just the combination of the two shots.  Our window company, America's Best Choice, conveniently moved offices while we were on vacation, so he has his office to set up and major things lined up for the week.  ABC's offices are now located in the Riverbend Business Park, which was Newell & Newell for many years off Trinity and 820 just outside the HEB area.  Our suite number is 2628 in building 7.  We have now have more office space, warehouse and now a dock to help unload windows.  Since our business is in Dallas now, this office will be more centrally located.  I want to say a big thank you to Pat's cousin, Scott Easterling, for putting up our new lettering on the front door.  I have attached a picture.

Garrett has been at church camp in Oklahoma at Camp Wow since Friday, so he is being missed around here, but he tells me he is having a blast. 

Today has been a work day for me cleaning the RV and doing laundry, so I am going to hit the sack earlier than usual.  I bet my desk at work as a pile on it, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone.  Since I have to go back to work tomorrow, I am glad I love my job. 

Have a great week.  Remember, life is precious!

Hugs!

xoxo

Faith

We made it home this afternoon about 4:00 PM. Pat and I stayed in Hochatown last night.  I know weird name, but pretty place.  It is a few miles outside Broken Bow, Oklahoma near Beaver Bend.  We decided to come home a different way and take advantage of one more night in our RV, our 16th night!

Pat is having a terrible day.  His new chemo treatment, Neulasta shot and Zometa shot (helps with calcium in the bones) has really done him in.  It is so hard to see him sick and weak and all I can do is make sure that he is comfortable.  Please pray that these symptoms will pass soon.

I want to share with you something I read from Streams in the Desert on July 19th which has me praying and thinking.

There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience.  The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion.  Like Gideon, we feel the fleece and are willing to trust God if it is wet.  (I have been there.)  This may be genuine faith but it is imperfect.  It is continually looking to feelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God.  (Yep.)  We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings.  It is more of a blessing when we believe without experiencing any emotion.   While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent.  And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people, and human reason all seem to urge something to the contrary.  Paul exercised this level of faith when he said, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved" (Acts 27:20), then nevertheless went on to say, "Keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me". (Acts 27:25). 

I can relate to all of the levels of faith above.  For such a long time I kept asking for fleece, but God wants my faith to be stronger than that.  With this emotional roller coaster that we are riding, too many times I try to base my faith and trust in my feelings and my circumstances.  I can't do that anymore.  The ride is to scary and there is no way I can possibly know what is next as each day is different and it can change in a moment.  I experienced God and His promise while on vacation.  The minute that Pat told me that the guy in the 18 wheeler just showed him his "God Is Big Enough" bracelet that the matches the ones He and I wear, I knew that God was telling me, "Paige, I got this."  I home now and I can tell you, He did. ("Keep up your courage, Paige, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me". (Acts 27:25).  Each day while we were gone, I was making an effort to trust God through every single day and event and some were certainly more challenging than others and I kept repeating to myself "He's Got This".  Now, I am saying it tonight because Pat's tumor markers are up, his new chemo treatment has changed which will cause new side effects and he is feeling so sick.  I am trusting you, Lord, for Pat's healing although the signs seem to be pointing the other way. 

Pat and I received two God hugs while we were in Tulsa and their names are Carolyn and Tom from Pagosis Springs, Colorado.  My sweet friend, Jacqueline who works at the Center, wanted to introduce us as she felt we would become fast friends, and she was right.  Thank you, JQ! Carolyn and Tom were visiting CTCA to get a second opinion as Tom has stage 4 melanoma and was diagnosed in October also.  Carolyn and Tom are our age and their two children are about the same ages as Elizabeth and Matt. I am thinking we made a good impression upon them when we told them that we just returned from their beautiful city and state!  They have decided in the last day or so that they will stay in Tulsa and start treatment Monday.  Please keep Tom and Carolyn in  your prayers.

This girl is pooped and ready to go to bed.  I have not been consistent in writing here on CB, but I have not had decent internet while I was gone and the kids informed me today that our internet here at the house is not working properly.  I must admit that I enjoyed not having my phone and internet readily available while in the mountains as I was able to do a lot of reading as well as finish two good fiction books.  The Hunger Games (a trilogy) was excellent...a tip for you readers.

Tomorrow is Sunday, my favorite day!  Hope you enjoy each minute!

Hugs!
xoxo

Hi from Tulsa

Hello from Tulsa.  As I sit here chatting with you Pat is getting chemo.  I want to update you.

This morning I was praying and asking for change today when we meet with the oncologist.  I have been praying this these past weeks and for the doctors to change their mind.  Why?  I have been lead to.  I want them to think extra hard outside the box in regard to Pat's treatment.  My question was "Why do we have to stay on this strenuous treatment with one spot left?"  The side effects of the oral chemo are worse now.

When we arrived for Pat's appointment they weighed him and he has lost more weight which really is upsetting as we both try really hard to keep him eating healthy with lots of protein.  Marie, the Nurse Practitioner, came in and said that his tumor markers have gone up to 332 and we have some decisions to make.  She said that Dr. Shrestha was planning on changing his treatment to FU5 which is a combination of three drugs which have to be infused over a 48 hour period.  I told her that we were not crazy about that idea.  She said that she would go and talk to Dr. Shrestha and discuss. Boy, was I praying then. They both returned to the examining room and Dr. Shrestha said she understood that we wanted to think about other options.  She said that she had another idea and that is to continue the Gemzar and add Abraxane every three weeks.  Abraxane is a new drug that has recently been approved for pancreatic cancer.  This excited me!  We prayed for change and we got it.  We also get to extend the treatment to every three weeks instead of two.

This has been an emotionally hard day for the both of us due to being back to reality for one thing and now change of treatment, new side effects to worry about and higher tumor markers. As much as I love this place it is sometimes so hard to see cancer everywhere.  It is really heartbreaking.   When you have this type of day you just have to lean into God and ask for His peace and comfort..still praying that now.

Thank you prayer warriors!  It is so comforting to read your messages as it continues to give us hope and most of all make us feel so loved.

Pat and I plan to make another stop tomorrow on the way home in Broken Bow, Oklahoma and continue our vacation for one more night...just not ready to end it yet.

Our our love,
Paige & Pat
xoxo

Colorado At It's Best

I am sad as this is our last day in Colorado as Pat, Matt and I head toward Oklahoma tomorrow morning.  What an amazing place and I can't thank God enough for His amazing gift of allowing us to come and have the best time ever.  I am also thankful that I have a job and a boss that will allow me to spend this precious extended time with my family.  I am particularly thankful for no injuries or accidents and I will tell you that there could have been.  Thankful that the Stowes, Wendy, Dennis, Grayham and Grayham's friend, Morgan, were able to joins us for four days. The list goes on!

Pat and Matt left really early this morning to go fly fishing, so I have been leisurely enjoying this morning and mountain air.  I sure miss Garrett and Elizabeth.

I would love to find the words to describe some of our experiences.  We had a few challenges in our rides on the four wheelers.  We were able to go on four of them.  Thursday afternoon Pat, Elizabeth, Garrett and I decided to take what we thought was a short ride on Wager Gulch which was really close to our campsite.  We were having problems with one of the four-wheelers, so we wanted to test it before we went on another long ride.  It was a beautiful ride that took us to a ghost town called Carson.  We kept riding and we realized there was a trail that would take us to the top of the mountain.  It seemed steep but doable.  So we took off to the top.  What a view!  Now it was time to come down and Pat said I don't think we can go down without sliding.  So, we made a plan.  We were going to zig zag down the mountain via the willows.  Willows are like really thick bushes.  I will post a picture so that you can see.  We started down by "walking" each jeep.  At one time it was on two wheels and Garrett and Pat were literally trying to use their body weight to maneuver it.  Elizabeth and I just watched, but I did decide to video tape it.  At least if the four-wheeler decided to roll down the mountain, I would have it on video.  My imagination was running...."okay, we might be in trouble as it is about 5:00 and if we have to walk and we won't get down the mountain before dark and we do not have any food and just a couple of bottles of water.  No one knows that we took a ride and Matt will be either furious or worried because we don't show up.  What if Pat can't make the walk.....crazy uh!  Well, I have to share with you where I got my peace.  As soon as Garrett and Pat started working their way down the mountain I was praying and I asked God to show me a purple flower. As I turned I only saw yellow and then there was one single purple flower in the midst of the yellow. (Got a picture of that too!)  I was then reminded that "God has this".  He did!  After it was over I asked Pat how scared he was between 1 and 10, 10 being the worst of fear.  He chose 7.  We made it home just in time for dinner!  Garrett said he wasn't scared either until he saw that his Dad was struggling too breath in the high elevation.   I was so thankful for Garrett's strong muscles!

The reason I asked for a purple flower is because most of all of the wild flowers here in the mountains were different shades of purple  You know what purple means to me these days and I just looked upon them as a God Hug!

Hope you have a great Monday.  I am trying to pack up some cool air for you so that I can bring it home!

Hugs!
xoxo

Hello God's Country!

Hello!  I am came to sit awhile up here at the lodge to say hello!  Yesterday was a great day!  Matt surprised Garrett with an early birthday present...a new fly rod. Pat decided he wanted one, so all three are fishing constantly.  The lakes are just yards away from the campsite.  I have attached a photo of our view. 

Cash is liking it here, but he get frustrated because he has to stay on a leash.  He likes to bark at everyone who walks in front of the site or bark back at the neighbor's dog. 

Matt rode his four-wheeler down to RedCloud this morning and visited with friends.  I think the four of us might adventure out on the four-wheelers today. 

I mentioned that there is no cell service and there is also not any satellite, so we have been watching movies every night.  Last night we cooked some steaks and as we sat down to eat them Pat plugged in Red Skelton.  The boys asked who that was and Pat explained that his shows was one of his favorites  as a kid.  A few minutes into the show Garrett looked at me and said, "Is he supposed to be funny."  They didn't get Red.  The cool thing is that Red loved the Lord.

Matt just drove by the lodge, so he is back from Red Cloud.  I am going to go see what is on the agenda for the day.  It may be nothing, but that is okay too!

Wish you were all here enjoying this weather! 

Hurry up Elizabeth!

Hugs! 

xoxo