Monday, December 5, 2011

Missing Him

I have missed checking in here on CB, but my internet has been down.  Thank you for every message, sweet card, words of encouragement and hugs you have sent our way. We need them.

I can't wrap my brain around the fact that Pat is gone.  I have tremendous peace, but I am missing him so much, particularly today.  I had a crying spell a bit ago and what scares me about that is I am afraid if I start,  I will not stop.  But, I did and I feel better now.  Garrett just got home from practice and it was good to see his handsome face and talk about his day.  I don't think his day was much better and he has ton of homework to make up.  Please pray for him as he goes back to school, settles into a routine and deal with his emotions too. Last night at bedtime, I got two texts from Elizabeth and Matt five minutes a part.  They both wrote:  Missing Dad so much. 

Books are a comfort to me and I found one that is helping me, "Getting to the Other Side of Grief".  Today the author explained it so well.  I lost my kindship last Saturday.  My kindred spirit...the person who cared about the little things in my life. He is the one I finished his sentences and many times we both had the same idea at the same time. I am lost.

In glancing in my Jesus Calling Devotional I ran across the following that I underlined on April 18th:  Peace is my continual gift to you.  It flows abundantly from My throne of grace.  Just as the Israelites could not store up manna for the future but had to gather it daily, so it is with My Peace.  The day-by-day collecting of manna kept My people aware of their dependence on Me.  Similarly, I give you sufficient Peace for the present, when you come to me by prayer and petition with thanksgiving.  If I gave you permanent Peace, independent of My Presence, you might fall in toe the trap of self-sufficiency. I have designed you to need Me moment by moment. As your awareness of your neediness increases, so does your realization of My abundant sufficiency.   Approach My throne of grace with bold confidence receiving My Peace with a thankful heart.

God has been so sweet and gentle with me by giving me His word each day. I find my favorite part of the day is when I sit in my chair every morning and seek His face.  He meets me every time.

A perfect prayer: "Lord Jesus, I am alone. Yet I am not alone, for you are with me and are my Friend. Now, Lord, please comfort me, strengthen me and give to Your poor servant everything that You see I need. ~Streams in the Desert

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