I haven't posted in a day or so, but it has been rough. We checked into
the hospital on Tuesday. Tuesday was the day we were to check in to
have chemo, but that morning I knew that Pat seemed weaker and was using
a lot of oxygen. Monday morning we did blood work, so I wanted to chat
with Dr. Fredric's nurse Tuesday morning to get a "go". When I called
the nurse to tell them what I sensed, they said to go ahead and take Pat
to the ER. That really bothered me as I knew Pat would wonder why in
the heck are we in the ER. Thankfully, on the way to the hospital, the
doctor's office called and asked if we were headed to the hospital and
if we were to go to patient registration. What a relief. I had called
Angie and Jordan to come that morning so I could have another set of
eyes and ears to help me evaluate Pat and make the right decision.
Jordan drove us to the hospital and we got him checked in.
Pat was a bit confused and was wondering why Angie and Jordan were with
me and why Matt met us at the hospital entrance. I reminded him that he
was to have chemo today and they were just hanging with us. I was so
uneasy about taking him to the hospital and even felt like I was
betraying somehow because he hates hospitals such much, but I knew in my
heart he was getting worse. I was exhausted with no sleep and was
worried about the care or lack of care I could give him at home. After
an ultrasound they found a couple of blood clots in his left leg.
I really was uneasy when I got here and it stayed with me throughout the
next day as I just didn't have a peace. His body was too weak to for
chemo, and I was afraid I was going to have to make a major decision.
I kept praying that the Lord would go before me and make those
decisions for me. The decision was made this morning that Pat will not
have any chemo and we will be calling in hospice tomorrow. Dr. Keller,
our internist, was the one who confirmed that the decision for no chemo
and I believe the Lord used him to give me this sweet peace I have
tonight.
Our goal is to go home tomorrow and tonight will be the test to see if
the meds have been tweaked enough for him to be completely comfortable
and sleep through the night.
There is more I want to write, but it is getting late and I going to stop here.
Thank you loving on our family,
Paige
xoxo
4 comments:
There are no words. But God knows my prayerful heart for you...and especially your children.
Oh Paige you are in my heart today....thinking of you constantly
Hi Paige,
I found your blog through another blogger (Teresa, Grammy Girlfriend). I have been reading many of your posts, catching up on the journey that you are walking out. I just sit here in tears, overwhelmed by the trust you have in our Awesome God. The common disease that I find myself being plagued with is 'SB' Syndrome. 'SB' is short for Spoiled Brat. I caught myself in this portal of 'What about me?', until I came across your beautiful blog, and the question of 'What about me?', turned into, "Yes, what about me? What am I going to do to extend my trust towards God?
The consumption of the things of this life must be transformed into consuming and giving God's love as I live this life, for I do not know the number of my days; but I know the One who does, and in that, I must rely on Him and be grateful every moment, for I am blessed...however, I am more blessed to meet such a beautiful daughter of the King along the way...and that is you Paige. Thank you for sharing, and know that I pray to God, the Healer for God's Kingdom come and His will be done on earth as it is in heaven on your and Pat's behalf.
You are lovely,
Teresa
Praying for you, sweet Paige. God is very near.
Post a Comment