When I picked up the computer to journal in Caringbridge last night, I literally couldn't think of anything to say. I typed something about the Mavs playing tonight. I also said it was a simple night and I like simple. Nothing else would come to mind. So, I erased it.
As I was in the tub I just told the Lord I was weary. That term keeps coming to mind a lot lately. Nights are so hard for Pat as he is extremely tired and his body has an ache that is hard to describe. There is also frustration and the feeling of "I am sick and tired of this." He explains that it is just like he hits a wall. He usually goes to bed to overcome. Watching all of this causes weariness.
I have started a new Bible study written by one of my favorite authors, Angela Thomas entitled "Brave Honest Questions Women Ask". I discovered her when I read her book "Do You Think I Am Beautiful" and liked her so much I have read all of her other books. So, when I saw her study in Lifeway, I didn't hesitate to buy it. Today I am studying day three of week one and the subject is weariness. (Hmm..not surprising) She writes: "Hear me say something clearly: We can do great things in this world to live in strength, wisdom and courage. Lord knows most of us are trying everything. But here is the big, hairy truth: Many of us are doing great worldly things to care for ourselves and yet not living with an inside strength to counter our soul weariness.
Her question then is "Who or what do you run to when you are weary?" The Sunday school answer is correct: God. We are to ask God. "Do You know that I'm worn out?" She directs the reader to scripture from Isaiah 40:28-31. "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint".
We have to run directly to Him. The answer is: The holy transfer of God's character happens when we come into His presence and put our HOPE in the Lord. He gives us his strength. We only have to hope. Hope is waiting. Waiting is the tough part and that was what I was discussing with God last night. I feel like my life is in waiting mode and the weariness comes with it. This journey is an emotional roller coaster that dips and turns causing joy and happiness in one minute and sad and tired the next.
So, I am thankful I went to The Lord last night. He talked to me this morning through the study and He made sure that I knew He heard me last night. I felt him say, "I know that you and Pat (and kids) are tired and weary, but I will give you renewed strength for each day." That is all I need to hear. That is why I love Him so much and crave my sweet moments with Him. The Lord knows me intimately and gives me just what I need when I need it.
Gotta get to work...I am late!
In His Grip,