Monday, December 20, 2010

Rough Monday

Hello!  How is your Monday?  

I debated whether to tell you just how my Monday has been.  You know some days are tougher than others.  A funk or a black cloud can just hover over you and you just can't shake it.  That is the kind of day I have had.  I knew it was present when I went to bed last night and darn it it was still there when I woke this morning. I grabbed my coffee and went straight to my prayer chair I call it.  That is a chair that sits in my cozy red office with all of my books around me. It is a place of comfort and it is where I long to hear from my Heavenly Father.  I really can't put my finger on what is bothering me.  I am just sad.  I want Pat to feel good. He is tired of it and I don't blame him. He wants normal days and I want that for him too.  I told a friend today "you know, it feels like we should be done with this by now." My transparent face is hard to hide at times.

I know all of these feelings are part of the journey.  What I am learning from the pain is that God is the only one that can comfort me the way I need it most.  If I am lonely, sad, angry or just tired, he wants me to come to him first.  He can give me that sweet peace and joy I crave, which was what I have prayed for all day. Encouragement came to me in several ways throughout the day and I actually expected it and looked for it.  God always shows up. The cloud lifted by the time I was cooking dinner and all five of us were eating.   

A couple from Alaska joined us for breakfast Thursday morning in the cafeteria in Tulsa. Pat said to the man "I don't see how anyone can go through this without God in their lives".  He is right.  We can't.  We are thankful he has us in His grip and He knows what tomorrow holds for you and me.  We have to trust Him.

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