Texas - PurpleStride DFW 2011 - General Donation

I am sitting back with my feet up in Pat's recliner.  He has gone to Colorado and has left me here.  You know we are attached at the hip, so I am feeling lost.  When I married Pat he traveled via car most of the month and would be gone during four or five days a week and continued to travel (30 years total) until he left Kinro.  That guy was racking thousands of miles on American and he was getting really tired of the travel in the end.  Now, we are hardly apart. 

I have an important announcement.  Team STP (Super Team Pat) will be participating in PurpleStride on November 13th in Dallas.  PurpleStride events contribute millions of dollars toward the mission of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network to advance research, support patients and create hope. Money raised helps fund personalized support for patients, their families and their caregivers. The events also support research grants and advocacy efforts to increase federal pancreatic cancer research funding.

I am super excited as I have ten committed participants on our team and it is only day one!  My goal is to raise $2,500.00, but would love, love, love to double that.  If you would like to join us for the fun mile or the 5K you may click here for the link..  If you would like to donate, you can also click that link and it will lead you to our team website. (You can also get the link off of my FaceBook).

I love event planning, but I am going to have to start training for the 5K.  Running a 5K has always been on my bucket list, but I haven't accomplished that yet.  Last year when Pat got sick I was right in the middle of training for a 5K with the church staff and haven't run since.  I really enjoyed using the iPhone app Couch to 5K as it like a game to me.

I just heard from Pat and is sitting  and relaxing and the weather is perfect.  Love and miss you, Patrick! 

Hugs!
Paige
xoxo

First Day of School

Just a quick hello before we start the day!  It is the first day of school and we have a junior in the house!  It has been a tradition in our house to get your picture taken by Mom on the first day of school and Garrett kindly stepped up on the first step of the stairway and let me snap his picture.  I pray you have a fantastic and fun year, G!

Pat is getting his wish and gets to go back to Colorado tomorrow with part of his team, John and Scott.  They will be delivering and installing windows for our friends, Dave and Iris. I am jealous that I cannot go, but glad they get to enjoy the scenery and the cool air.  Pray with me that Pat feels good and for their protection as they drive to and from. I bet they wet a hook while their gone!

I have to get to work!  it is going to be a great day!

I read this yesterday and thankful...God has a purpose for all of His delays.
Hugs!
Paige
xoxo

It was a great day and Pat had a good one too! He worked outside most of the day and he and Matt are trying to finish up on a retaining wall they started a couple of months ago.

As I stood in church singing the words "Let your mercies fall from Heaven" I realized that the song I was singing was a follow up to what the Lord showed me this morning. I only had a few minutes in my chair before getting ready for church so I picked up Priscilla Shirer's book, "One In A Million". I read:

We can sometimes get so focused on this one thing, this one way we're wanting God to act on our behalf, this one moment when He's supposed to show up and do something spectacular, that we close ourselves off from His greater purposes. This all comes from trying to fix the wilderness rather than yield to the wilderness. Sometimes the better thing God is wanting to do just needs to be waited on for a little while longer.

He used her writing to tell me that I am trying to fix the wilderness and not yield to certain areas in my life. I have it all figured out in my mind just how our journey can be fixed and that seems to be what I am waiting for. I am in waiting mode. The key words were "His greater purposes". I felt He was telling me there is reason for the wait as He has an agenda which I will never understand this side of Heaven. The words, His mercies fall from heaven, made me think of all of His love, gifts, blessings that flow each day. Now my brain is kind of muddled, so I looked up the definition of mercies:

1 a : kind and gentle treatment of someone (as a wrongdoer or opponent) having no right to it b : a disposition to show mercy
2 a : a blessing as an act of divine love b : a fortunate happening
3 : kindness shown to victims of misfortune

He give us His mercies, but we do not deserve them. His mercies are a blessing and are too numerous to list.

So, as I was singing, I opened my palms to receive His beautiful mercies and I am reminded again of His love, His faithfulness, His goodness and His sovereignty.

I guess I will try to not fix it.

Life is precious!
  xoxo

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Good morning!  I fell asleep last night on the couch, so I thought I would just say a quick hello.  Pat just left for Hico with Jordan and I think they may be piddling today.  I am just thankful Pat has felt better.  He measured 60 windows yesterday, so he was tuckered out last night. 

Mom's birthday was on the 18th and I didn't journal that day.  I hope I look as good as you do Mom at your young age.  You are still beautiful on the inside and out.  I love you, Mom!

My devotional, Streams in the Desert,is such a comfort and encouragement to me.  I love how the author has taken scripture, experience, and inspiration to help weary travelers as they journey through the wilderness.  I feel we are in the wilderness versus the desert as it has nothing to offer because it is so dry and desolate.  The wilderness can provide shade, water and surprises along the way, and it gives us blessings, gifts and even miracles. I am confident that God loves us and He is walking before us each day. Priscilla Shirer says it beautifully, "The best way to Canaan is to walk straight through, wherever He leads, holding His invisible hand until you swear you can feel His pulse in  your palm." 

If God has called us to His highest and best, each of us will have a time of crisis, when all our resources will fail and when we face either ruin or something better than we have ever dreamed.  But before we can receive the blessing, we must rely on God's infinite help.  We must be willing to let go, surrendering completely to Him, and cease from our own wisdom, strength and righteousness.  We must be "crucified with Christ" (Gal 2:20) and yet alive in Him.  God knows how to lead us to the point of crisis and he knows how to lead us through it...Streams in the Desert.

Have a great day!
Hugs!

Back to School

Whoa, busy day for me!  This time of the year is hopping at the church.  I like it!

Pat had a good day today and I am so thankful each day he has gotten better.  He has been working full days as he says it helps him to keep busy. By the time he hits his recliner at night he is exhausted and done.

The last full week before school starts as Garrett starts next Tuesday.  Matt moved his stuff in to his apartment on Monday, but his school doesn't start until the 29th.  I use to look forward to "back to school" shopping with my kids, but now my 17-year-old just calls and says, "Hey mom, I am going to go buy a few clothes for school.  See ya."  Awe, that is sad.  I am savoring every minute of the next two years Garrett has left. Time flies by too fast.

We all stopped what we were doing tonight and watched "Mobbed".  Did you see it?  Howey Mandel was the host.  If you haven't watched it and you have it recorded, skip to the next paragraph.  This girl and guy went out to dinner and while eating this strange girl comes over and says something to the boyfriend, and throws water in his face.  A policeman comes over and said he needed to write a report, but the boyfriend walks away.  Immediately after he walks away the restaurant goes crazy dancing and singing and she realizes it is all for her.  They move the "show" outside and she looks up and her boyfriend is walking toward her in a tux. He asked her to marry him, she said "yes" and then he asked her if she wanted to get married right now.  She says yes again and then it is pure magical.  I wanted to laugh, smile and cry while watching it play out.  Every girl loves romance and this girl won the prize!

I read this today....We never arrive at any spiritual inheritance through the enjoyment of a picnic but always through fierce conflicts of the battlefield. 

I am ready for a nice picnic soon!
Hugs!
Paige

A Word

This morning I sat in my chair and asked the Lord to speak to me and encourage Pat and I.  He is faithful.  He did.  I opened my Streams in the Desert to read this:  Never look ahead to the changes and challenges of this life in fear.  Instead, as they arise look at them with the full assurance that God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them.  Hasn't He kept you safe up to now? So hold His loving hand tightly and He will lead you safely through all things.  And when you cannot stand, He will carry you in His arms. Do not look ahead to what may happen tomorrow.  The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day.

I read that a couple of times.  I clearly wrote "Yes" when the question was asked, "Hasn't He kept you safe up to now?".  And he specifically reminded me not to worry about tomorrow.  Everything I read today was about Faith.  I then turn to my Bible to look up August 15th, but I stop on the 14th and read what I underlined last year.  I wrote "Promise" in the margins:  But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.  He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine.  We put our hope in the Lord.  He is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.  Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.  Psalm 33 8-22.  Now I turn to August 15th:   Psalm 34: 5-10, I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy, no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation I prayed and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.  vs 8:  Taste and see that the Lord is good.  O the joys of those who take refuge in him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. 

My fingers were writing as fast as I could in my journal.  These words that I read are living.  Scripture says that John 1:1, "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." What I read above was directly from God and His promises to me.  I wrote "Promise" in the margin again. My heart knows this, but I have to work real hard to get my head to agree, submit and rest, but it excites me!

So, as I was driving to work today I asked a simple prayer that something good would happen today and Pat and I really needed It.  He answered it.  It was sweet and I am thankful. 

Pat felt a little better today.  I pray that each day he feels stronger and stronger.  He is my hero as he just pushes through it all without complaint. 

Going to hit the hay!
Sweet dreams!
xoxo

This Ain't Country

Have you had a good Sunday?  I made it to church this morning, but Pat didn't.  He has run a fever all day and has felt awful.  I know he is frustrated because he hates this feeling and he wanted to go to the Home Show today.  He didn't have to have is Neulasta shot, so I am praying he bounces back quicker this week.

I probably should have been doing some productive house work today, but I didn't.  It is almost time for school to start, so I am working on redesigning the website for the Centennial High School boys basketball and a new Facebook for the teams as well.  Really, I am a nerd and am happy to play with my techno all day!

Matt will be moving his things into his new apartment in Waco tomorrow and get things ready for school which starts the 28th.  It really makes me sad to see him go, but I am glad Waco is close.  Matt is very thankful that his job at the bank in China Springs was held for him while he came home for the summer to work with his Dad. I know that he has enjoyed being part of the American Best Choice team.  How blessed you are, Matt! 

Pat and I are watching the CMA Music Festival and he says "this ain't country." 

Have a good week!

xoxo

So Thankful for the Rain!

Pat, Matt and I just finished watching the Soul Surfer.  What a great movie that required Kleenex.  Matt said that the movie was hard to watch as it reminds him of his Dad.  Their life changed in one day and they had to learn a new normal.  As Carrie Underwood (one of the actresses in the movie) said, "I do not know why this has happened, but I know that God has a purpose."  She is right.

My niece, Brianna, left for college today at Southwestern Oklahoma State University.  I just checked on my sister to make sure she was okay because I know how that feels when you send your first born off to school.  Kelly said that she felt like she dropped Brianna off at camp and will see her in a week.  It is bittersweet as you so excited about their new adventure, but your heart hurts because you know that your child is growing up.  (They can come back home to stay awhile too!)

Pat got up this morning and went to work the Home and Garden Show at the Fort Worth Convention.  He felt pretty good until later this afternoon and has not felt good since.  He has a low grade fever and his body hurts.  He wants to feel better tomorrow so he can go to church and go work the home show.

I can't close until I thank God for the rain.  We need some more, please!

Hugs!
Paige
xoxo

Tulsa Time

Hello from Tulsa!  The weather at 3:00 PM was perfect and I am not kidding.  Pat and I sat outside for an hour or so and I felt like I was in a different state!  It rained hard on us as I was driving from Oklahoma City to Tulsa.  It has been too long since I have felt the raindrops.

Pat's tumor markers have risen from 322 to 408.  The doctor said that it is not unusual for the markers to flare up when the chemo medication is changed, so we are praying that is the case.  We will continue the same treatment and scan in six weeks.

I have been struggling lately on how to process this journey in my mind.  I may not be able to find the words to express what I am trying to say, but I will try.  When Pat was first diagnosed in October I had a huge peace and it has stayed with me most of the time.  The Lord has spoken to me through His word, books, pastors and friends and his timing is always perfect.  I could talk with you for hours how amazing God has been and just how sovereign, faithful and good He is.  I hear His whispers and I have felt his painful pruning as He transforms me.    My relationship is an intimate one because He has shown me how much He loves me and I know He feels my pain. 

So how am I struggling?  One way is the enemy knows all about me too and he knows my weaknesses; therefore, he is trying to cause me to doubt, fear, worry and lose trust.   My belief from the beginning is that Pat will be healed from this disease and I continue to claim that.  However, when I see Pat hurting, weary, and tired as his health declines, it scares me.  As our journey continues and the other stresses of living life are present, I just ask "what else, Lord?"  So, I feel weak, numb and find myself asking the Lord tons of questions.
 
I plainly asked God for a revelation a couple of days ago.  How do I process the ups and downs of this emotional roller coaster?  For the past two days I feel like I received that revelation. 

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior (Habakkuk 3: 17-18).   I read this in Streams of the Desert.  The writer goes on to interpret this verse: In His time he would flee to God; that he would maintain his spiritual composure under the darkest of circumstances; and that in the midst of everything, he would delight himself with a sacred joy in God and have cheerful expectation of Him. 

As soon as I read that the words YET caused me to pause.  I read it again several times.  You see "everything" listed in the scripture before the word YET is what we are experiencing.   It was my revelation.  I too want to maintain my spiritual composure under the darkest of circumstances, and oh, how I love I can have cheerful expectation!  That one, three little word YET has such an impact on me.  No matter what is happening around me and no matter what the future holds, I will depend on my Heavenly Farther. I think I have been trying to hard to have a faith that pleases Him. I am going to try to just sit back and allow Him to lead and quit asking so many questions.

As I write, Pat is getting his chemo, but he is in lala land.  We will drive back to Kelly and Brian's tonight and head home on the train in the morning. 

Thankful is how I feel at this moment.  My list is wide and long.

Hugs!
Paige
xoxo

Train Ride

We are on the train to Oklahoma City and we just arrived in Ardmore. They have a quick smoke break for the passengers, so we linger here just a bit longer.  Pat and I got to listen in on a woman a seat over from me carrying on a conversation with her boyfriend because her speaker phone was on.  Very interesting....

I just posted this song on Facebook and want to share it with you here.  This song just stirs my heart and I play it over and over.  I bet you will find yourself doing the same.  The link for Youtube is http://youtu.be/oyMl1zCbprc.  I first heard it at the Flavour Conference at Fellowship earlier this year. 

I will keep this short tonight!  Our appointments start tomorrow afternoon about 1:30.  Pray, pray, pray!

Big Hugs from Oklahoma!
xoxo

This morning Pat and I got up early to drive to Hico to take care of a few things. It is so dry and crunchy there and just down right depressing. We got out of the cattle business just in time due to the lack of rain and the fact we were unable to bail hay this year. Change. There is more change.The other day Pat said, "Paige, my life will never be as I knew it before." The reason for that statement is that we are down sizing. We sold our cattle a couple of months ago and sold a tractor. We have had some of our ranch for sale, and now we have decided to sell it all. We have owned our place since 1998 and it feels just like yesterday when all five of us took a dusk drive on the four-wheeler each night...one four-wheeler that is!

I actually cried that recent Sunday afternoon when we were chatting about
selling it all. I told him that it is so hard to sell your dreams. Nothing can
remove our wonderful memories but dreams can change without notice. I try to
make light of it and tell him we are just changing our hobby from ranching to
traveling. It might be cheaper. Hico is a wonderful place and we have many neighbors that we call friends.

Today Pat faced changed again. He started losing his hair today, so he had to shave his head. It was emotional. He actually looks good, but it isn't really about the hair. It is the principal. It is a physical reminder of the battling he faces every single day. Hair or no hair, he is still handsome and beautiful to me.

I use to assume: 

that you will have good health for years. 

that you will retire just as you planned. that your dreams will play out.

that you will always have perfect health insurance. 

that your kids won't have to see one of their parents fight cancer. 

that you will all be together at the next holiday. that you will enjoy those grandchildren.

Now I appreciate: 

a calorie or little body fat

a birthday.

a fulfilled dream

a perfect vacation

a whisper from the Lord

a God hug.

and the list goes on.

I am claiming His promises, but some days it is really hard to look up out of the valley. God chose us to do hard, so it is hard to complain when you know that this journey went through His hands. There is reason and purpose and I am trying to just trust God each day.

Dont' assume.....
Hugs!

xoxo

God Is Out Front!

God is out in front. He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear. Yet God is already there. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before they can get to us. ~F.B. Meyer

I need to read this every single day to be reminded that God goes before me. I even know this, but the part about fear tomorrow gets me.  It comes down to trust and this is the truth that I feel God is trying to drive home with me right now in this journey.  If it passed through Him, whatever tomorrow holds is going to happen anyway. 

Pat surprised me today with Kari Jobe tickets for tomorrow night!  Thank you Marsha!  We both love her and her "Revolution" song is our favorite.  So, I have a date tomorrow night!  Thanks, Pat as I am so excited!

I saw America's Best Choice Windows new office for the first time tonight.  Pat and John had a truck to unload, so I went along for the ride. When we put the lettering on the door a week ago, Pat didn't have a key, so he was unable to show me the inside.  They have nice big offices now with a dock. 

I am looking forward to the weekend.  My youngest will be turning 17 on Saturday...that is so hard to believe.  That makes me sad too!

Before I go, I have to update  you on Baby Cooper.  He is up to 4 pounds 9.3 ounces, and eating well from a bottle. He has moved into a big boy bed (still in the NICU), and is still doing great on the nasal cannula!! "I tell you, he is just amazing!", say his Aunt Katie. Brother Mike came into the office showing off a picture on his iphone of him holding his grandson!  Boy, was he grinning.  He said that Cooper just slept right through the visit.  I am in awe of this little miracle. Read more: http://www.prayersforbabycooper.com/2011/08/did-i-mention-he-was-cute.html#ixzz1U7T5wHWt

God is good! I will catch you tomorrow!


Hugs! 

xoxo

A Legacy Desired

We are driving home from Belew cemetery after laying my Uncle Mark to rest. The McNatts are an amazing family with strong roots than began with Arby and Margaret who left a legacy of strong devotion to God and the importance of family. To see 75 plus family gathered together just touches my heart.

It is so important to me that Pat and i leave the legacy of strong faith, trust in God, power of prayer and family devotion. I've said it many times that my biggest prayer through this journey is that Elizabeth, Matt and Garrett will see God's hand but most of all seek His face, His word and fall deeper in love with Him.

I told a friend today that I couldn't imagine walking each day without my Heavenly Father who has been so faithful to allow me to hear Him whisper and feel His presence. Waking up each morning and meeting with Him is my most favorite part of the day.

I will miss you Uncle Mark and to my McNatt family, you are precious to Pat, the kids and I. Thank you for walking alongside us with your love and support.

Hugs!

Xoxo

Faith

How was your Monday?  Mine wasn't bad at all and Pat said his was pretty good too!  Enjoyed dinner tonight with some lasagna and the family. 

VBS started today at our church so staff gets to wear VBS t-shirts all week.  The best $9.95 I could spend to wear my jeans all week.  There is always some comedy with VBS as our ministers really go all out each year with their personal touch whether be acting or dancing all designed around our theme this year, Big Apple Adventure. It is a great place to work!

I have mentioned before the Purpose Driven Life Devotional I receive in my inbox each day.  I have forwarded this particular one on faith to least five people now, so I am just going to share with you.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Psalm 3:5-6 NIV)

God doesn’t promise to make your life perfect and problem-free. Instead, he promises to give you the life you’ve always been meant to have. Only God can do that.

This week, we’ve been looking at faith. Part of having faith in God is expecting him to bless your life. He wants to make your life all it’s meant to be — not all you want it to be, but all he wants it to be. He always has your best interests in mind.

When God asks us to do something, Satan typically reminds us of all we have to give up in order to obey. But that’s only part of the story.

Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” (NLT). That’s great news! When I trust in God — or take refuge in him — he brings joy. Instead of thinking of what we have to give up when we trust and obey God, the Lord wants us to remember the joy we’ll find when we obey.

My wife and I recently were able to spend some time with our 2 year-old granddaughter, Reese. We can really see this truth in the lives of 2 year-olds. One time, she was swimming in her little toddler pool. Every time she’d get out of the pool and shiver, her grandmother would dry her off. So Reese would walk back to her pool, pour a pitcher of water over herself, and walk back to grandma to get dried off again. That’s a smart girl. She knows where her needs are going to be met. She went back to grandma because she expected grandma to dry her off again. And grandma did — every time!

That’s the kind of relationship God wants with us. It’s what faith is all about — expecting God to act on our behalf.

You might think, “God hasn’t always come through for me. He hasn’t always done what I expected of him.” How could he? God is so much greater than we are. There is so much we don’t understand about God. But I know I can trust him to love me no matter what. God will be here for me from now to eternity. Faith is expecting that even in the midst of what you’re facing now, God will keep loving you and keep being faithful. He’ll keep his plan all the way through eternity.

Psalm 42:11 says, “Oh, my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act!” (TLB). I've not always gotten what I wanted, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God has never let me down. He's never failed to act on my behalf when that’s what I’ve needed.

Expect Him to act. He won’t let you down.

Tom Holladay is a teaching pastor at Saddleback Church and author of The Relationship Principles of Jesus.

What a great word....gotta keep reading it!

Hugs! xoxo