Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'll Say It Every Single Time - Home Sweet Home

We arrived safely home around 1 PM today and we are so happy to see our kids (except Matt because he is at school) and Cash. I feel like we have been gone for more than five days. Pat had a really slow start this morning and was apprehensive about getting on the plane due to some nausea, but he has his wonder drug, Zofran, that does the trick. Thankfully, the flight is just 45 minutes long. As the day grew on he felt a little better. He had to have the Neulasta shot last night so the bone pain is beginning.

I am looking so forward to my bed tonight as sleep did not come that easy this last week and what a great week to start having hot flashes! Geez! I have always been the one cold around this house, but Pat and I have switched places.

The scripture 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "We live by faith , not by sight." I have to remind myself that I cannot judge my faith by my feelings although it is very difficult. We are to look at the facts and not the feelings. In my devotional today the author says that God never gives us feelings to enable or encourage us to trust Him and He never gives them to show us that we have already completely trusted Him. God only gives us feelings when He sees that we trust Him apart from our feelings, resting solely on His word and His faithfulness to His promise.

That is all I have to keep me focused on this journey. That is why I spend a long time in the mornings reading His word and praying because I have to be refueled before I start my day. I have to cling to God's promises when I see Pat hurting or watch him try to put one foot in front of the other when he is having a bad day. When I look around at the patients in the cancer center, read the statistics of this horrible disease or watch a friend bury her husband who lost the fight, my feelings can easily win. This is where I have to focus on God's facts and His promises that he gives me when I read His word. I have to look back at what I know and that is God has never, ever failed me and he is the same yesterday, today and forever. It isn't easy, so I try to take one day at a time and pray my friend's, Becky, favorite prayer that I have adopted as my own: Father, go before me and go behind me.

I hear the bed and my very own pillow calling my name!
Sweet dreams, 
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