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Friday, November 26, 2010

Surrender

Pat's nephew, Kenneth and his wife, Lauren

Hello Friday and Black Friday known to many!  Did you go out today? My sister called today and said that they were at Walmart at midnight and Kohls at 3 AM.  She said you have to see it to believe it and yes, she got some great deals.  I wasn't planning on going out today.  At 1:30 I was still in PJ's and couldn't decide what I wanted to do as Pat went to Hico for the day to purchase some cubes for the cows. Elizabeth talked me into going with her to run around, so we went to the mall.  The mall really wasn't that crowded at 2:00. I think I bought one Christmas present, but we enjoyed ourselves.  

Pat feels so much better than he did yesterday and said he really had a good day.  You know he said to me that today he didn't even think about cancer until this afternoon when a friend asked him about it.  When you are given a diagnosis as we have been given, it very rarely does leave your mind.  Sometimes you feel it is so surreal and the reality hits you and other times you feel moments of joy and are privileged to walk this journey.  

Our Life Group has been studying Chip Ingram's Bible study, the R12 Christian which is about Romans 12.  Romans 12 provides a relational profile of an authentic disciple. In session two of the study it was titled "How To Give God What He Wants The Most".  What God is looking for and wants most from me is me---all that I am and all that I have.  When you take your family, your future, your money, your gifts, your dreams, and all your possessions and you given them all to Christ.  It is like signing a blank check over to Him. What I learned in this session is "Surrender is the secret to God's best. Surrender is the channel through which God's biggest blessings flow. "  I signed the check on September 28th, 2010 and and this is what I wrote in my journal "I can't do anything without you Lord!  I give you my husband, our marriage, my three kids, our finances and our future."  On October 7, 2010 Pat was told he has Pancreatic Cancer Stage IV.  You see, I surrender and  I want God's best even though it is scary.  I have asked myself the following question several times this past month: "Would I sign that commitment again of surrender if I knew what I know now?" "What if my not signing it would have prevented it?"  God has a plan whether I sign or not, but what I am trying to say is I want what God wants.  If he is asking Pat and I to go through this for a purpose, we say yes.  We surrender.  Yes, I would sign it again. At the same I am always asking God to help me to trust Him to believe and have audacious faith.  To give me his peace each day.

 The last sentence in this session Ingram says " When a man or woman takes this step (living by faith) life is never the same.    He's right.


Hugs!
Paige
xoxo
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