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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Faith


Hey guys!  It has been a full day. I had to run to Harris and Radiology & Associates to pick up CD films for Pat's appointments.  Today at the last minute we were able to get in with a Dr. Becerra in Dallas out of Baylor.  He is an oncologist who does clinical trials.  Pat qualifies for one of the trials and they are holding a spot for him.   It will be your typical chemo treatment, Gemzar, and a trial drug.  The advantages of the trial is that they would be treating the tumor from two angles.  Also, should the tumor not respond or grow, then they can find another trial.  This trial didn't offer a lot of nutritional education or emphasize the importance of nutrition as we want.  Tomorrow we have another appointment with a doctor out of Dallas Presbyterian.   Every morning when I awake, my first thought is "Is this really happening?"  As I walked into the doors of the cancer center it really hit me. This is really true. How I wish this blog was like my personal blog,  Paige's Petals, where I can share tons of pictures, tell random stories, brag on my kids or even tell one of my A.D.D. stories.  Sure I can do all of that on here, but first of all I do not have that many people reading my personal blog!  Secondly, I do have to watch what I say because Pat's friends are reading this too!  All that said to say that I don't plan to hide the hard and the sad parts of this journey.  Most of my friends know that I am pretty transparent and do not hide my feelings very well, whether happy, sad or just ticked off.  I will tell you that today was not easy.  Realization hit me...this journey will be hard.  We have a huge fight ahead of us.  Do I believe that God can heal Pat?  Absolutely!  But, I have to yield to His will. This is a major life interruption.  Everything according to His good purpose.  God has a purpose in this as this second journey with cancer went through His hands.  In my study of Jonah by Priscilla Shirer she says "Interruptions have a way of revealing whether we really mean it when we say "Lord, not my will but Yours be done."  Pat and I accept this and we are trusting in Our healer.  The bracelet I have been wearing every day reads "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." ~Hebrews 11:1   We can't see the future, but we are held firmly in His Grip!  We love you!

Hugs!
Paige
xoxo 
 

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